Sam Venable  

Department of Irony

If you think that  Washington, D.C., is the capital of the State of Confusion these days, you should’ve been around in 1939.

Way Back Then, we didn’t have one Thanksgiving Day. We had two. No joke.

Well, no; your humble correspondent wasn’t around Way Back Then. I was minus-eight years of age at the time. But microfilmed newspapers tell the tale, and I availed myself of the archives for a little research.

In 1939, Thanksgiving was celebrated on November 23. At least it was in 25 states. Not so in the remaining 23. In those rebellious outposts, including Tennessee, T-Day didn’t arrive until November 30.

(Right now you’re rolling your eyes and saying, “What a goof this Venable guy is! You add 25 and 23 and it comes to 48. Doesn’t he know there are 50 states?” To which Venable replies: “Neener-neener! Hawaii and Alaska hadn’t even been invented Way Back Then! It wasn’t until 1959 that a pineapple was discovered in an icebox owned by some old coot named Stewart, forcing Congress to ratify the Gettysvue Amendment. As a result, this guy named Ross sewed a flag with fifty stars, signifying Hawaii and Alaska could be visited by American tourists, but only if they purchased souvenir leis and mukluks.” At least that’s the way goof Venable recalls it from American History 101, during which he slept most of the time. So there.)

However, I’m not joking about twin Thanksgivings in 1939. This all came about because of feuding between the president and Congress. Sound familiar?

Although Thanksgiving had been observed on various dates through the years, the last Thursday in November was proclaimed by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863.

Such an arrangement worked well for a while. But then the pre-Christmas marketing rush came into vogue. By the time 1939 rolled around—accompanied by a November with five Thursdays—President Franklin Roosevelt felt November 30 was too late to launch the Christmas shopping season. So he decreed T-Day would be the fourth, but not necessarily final, Thursday. Period.

You would have thought FDR had ordered tofu be served instead of turkey, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce.

The aforementioned rebellious states screamed, “No way!” They continued to observe the last Thursday. This controversy likely would have erupted every few years, but in 1941 Congress stopped it by officially designating the fourth Thursday as Thanksgiving. Period-period.

Based on vintage newspaper accounts I’ve read, the whole thing boiled into a humongous fight. Indeed, the FDR Presidential Library in Washington contains many of the irate letters, telegrams, and editorials it sparked.

Ahh, for the good ol’ days when that’s all that politicians had to argue about!

Sam Venable is an author, stand-up comedian, and humor columnist for The Knoxville (TN) News Sentinel. He may be reached at sam.venable@outlook.com.